Please Dont Expire: The Black Ops Review

Alright boys and girls this is the moment that you have all been waiting for, my review for the BEST game ever, call of duty black ops.  First off I like the game, if you don’t there is probably no point in you reading the rest of this, but I think most of you have either always liked it or are (finally) learning to.  Ill divide this review up into several parts. 


First, the story.  I will not go into great detail about the story mode of a game that has a great twist and came out over a month ago, but if you didn’t find something enjoyable about this story then there is probably nothing more I can say to make you change your mind.  The story has very few filler levels and seemed to flow very nicely from beginning to end.  Furthermore, by using the model for this game I think it’s safe to say that Black Ops will turn into a series especially if Call of Duty goes into space next, which I think will put the nail in its coffin and signal the resurgence of the Medal of Honor franchise.  However, until then i can say that this is the best single player FPS story that i have played since Bioshock.  I wish i would have counted the number of times i said "wow that was fuckin awesome"  and it even tied all those great moments together with a story! gasp!

Black Ops brought in great characters including the best character from World at War, Resnov.  The story had some great moments, leading your crew with the stealth bomber, all of the jumps across buildings on to large piles of mattresses, the Russian roulette scene, the twist, gas leaks, etc.  


If you have played all the Call of Duty games I think you appreciate how great of a single player campaign this was.  The Call of Duty series has been littered with bad story modes, games that appear to be released mainly for the multiplayer, with a few hours of story mode tacked on (here’s looking at you Mw2 and cod3).  Black Ops made up for that horrible sham of a story that was Mw2 in every way.  I could see a movie being made out of this games script, I haven’t been able to say that about a game since Modern Warfare, and honestly that story wouldn’t have made as good of a movie as this one would.

I would order the Call of Duty games story modes in this order:

Modern Warfare

Call of Duty 2

Black Ops

World at War

Call of Duty

Modern Warfare 2

Call of Duty 3

If you haven’t played all of these do yourself a favor and go rent or buy them.  If Black Ops multiplayer had been as fun as its story I would say that this is arguably the best Call of Duty game ever released.  However, I will concede that the multiplayer has its problems.  I attribute almost all of these problems to the lag that does seem more prevalent in this game for some reason.  I have seen my k/d plummet since the first few weeks, mostly because the lag has gotten very noticeable for me, and I know some of you have this same problem.  Of course, maybe I just suck.  

I have no problems with hit detection, perks, maps, guns, modes or anything else.  I think that this game is the most balanced I have seen a multiplayer game mode in awhile, it only suffers from not having dedicated servers.  I have heard lots of complaints about hit detection, but I think that its 99% a product of the laggy shit that we all deal with.  I do have a slight problem with the spawns, but it’s not crippling.  Is it frustrating spawning into a hail of bullets?  Sure.  Has it been happening in every single Call of Duty game?  Yes.   If you don’t think it has please replay some of the other ones.  

I love the cosmetic changes to this game, voting for which map you want to play, being able to play split screen online, and so forth.  I also enjoy the emblem customization, even though everyone seems to go with a phallic symbol of some kind, which is both strange and unsurprising, haha look at the penis… 

I know that some of you will completely disagree with me, and that’s fine.  However, before you think I’m more of an idiot that you already do, really take the time to think about the last batch of games that has came out.  Modern Warfare did not encourage anyone to play the objectives. Martyrdom.  World of War had severely overpowered weapons.  Mw2 had everything really, bad spawns, ridiculous hardcore, lag, glitches, cheaters, hackers, overpowered guns(raffica , all shotguns), campers, etc etc.  Seriously how many times did we jump into super speed maps, or ice floor maps, or javelin glitchers, hackers shooting you through walls, care package glitchers, no-scopers, I could(and have) wrote a whole article on that.  Black ops? The only overpowered gun I know of is the ak74u, which will probably be nerfed, spawns and lag.  I don’t know how the fix the lag issue, but I expect that the others will be.  

We will see where this game goes,  maybe it will prove me wrong it will be just like mw2 were they are more than happy to take your money for a map pack, but will take weeks to fix a glitch, or worse, will stop patching the game so hackers completely ruin what is left of it.  When I look at this game I see an effort to fix everything that people complained about last time.  I think they did a good job.  How many times have you been tubed?  Probably less times in a month then you were in one match this time last year.  As always if you disagree with me please feel free to post your own review!


The Rating System

1 Inu - This Inu is bad. It eats baby birds out of trees, craps in you shoes, and scares any potential female friends away with its ferocious demeanor.

2 Inu's - This Inu has been taken to obidience training, but failed. The dog tried hard, but just never got any of the tricks right.

3 Inu's - An average loveable Inu, sure its not gonna win any awards, but it is a faithful companion

4 Inu's - This Inu is special, he knows all of his tricks, everyone loves him, and he sits by your side every time you come back from the bar... alone.

5 Inu's - This is Inu is legendary. He is a dog among puppies. One day there will be movies made about how awesome he is. He gets your beer for you when you get home and never fails to get you atleast 3 phone numbers every time you take him for a walk. Oh and he growls as the fatties approach(unless your into that kind of thing).

So I am going to give this an overall score of 4 out of 5 inus.  I enjoy this game very much but it is not a five inu game.  In fact the only games of the last few years I would give a 5 to is Mass Effect 2, GTA 4, and maybe Dead Space.  Everything else is nowhere close.  

Oh and there is a map pack coming out Feb 1st. Prepare yourself!