Here it is again, another game from the backlog, this time it’s one of the worst reviewed games in this generation, Two Worlds. RPG to the core and proud of its self. I am fan of the RPG genre, nothing like taking the reins of your character and becoming a hero amongst the people, decimating evil. “Chaotic-Good, power drunk laugh; Muh hahahahahaha!” The reviewers as always compare this to that other RPG series that seems to be the most popular right now called the Elder Scrolls. I will probably do the same for reference and its popular knowledge to the gaming community. Let’s get it on!
Graphically, Two Worlds is beautiful; ferns, flowers, firs and colored trees. The little details about the environment are just awesome. The building are just as cool, castles are huge and impressive, villages are quaint, and the countryside alive with fauna. The world is alive; there are so many animals and creatures roaming about ready to rip you to shreds. Wolves, bears and wyverns, oh my! There aren’t just generic animals either, they’re different variations, i.e. the wolf; there is the wolf, silver wolf, grey wolf and brown wolf. The animals and creatures run in packs for the most part. Then the developers don’t stop with just a simple forest realm like many RPGs but adds every environment it could. There is a desert, a glacier, a jungle, a volcano region, seacoast, a burned out forest, and then finally the gently rolling hills of the countryside. It’s not just humans either, of course we have seen elves, orcs, argonains, and kajit in Elder scrolls; while you play the game as the male hero, there are a bunch of enemy races. The groms, the orcs, the varns, scaparali, the trachdis all make up the enemy races and all have individual environment while they show up. Comparing it to Oblivion, Two Worlds has the little details that make it more striking visually. AND...Two Worlds has dragons! Fuck you Elder Scrolls! Well until Skyrim. All this beauty and it is severely fucking broken. The frame rate suffers from all of this goodness; stuttering, stammering and loading mid animation across the map. This shit made me laugh, and then scared the shit out of me; every time it happens I cross my fingers, “Please don’t crash, please don’t crash, whew!” For the record it only crashed once in 11 hours of game play. Fucking better then Fallout: New Vegas by a long shot, crashed in the first hour. Save often.
The Two Worlds story is the typical RPG fodder, they stole your twin sister away with evil intentions to the people of…Anatloor, (had to look that up) and you are the key to the whole storyline. You must destroy evil and live happily ever after. The side quests are your typical fetch quests like always, with a little, you make the call morality quests mixed in. Clever names for the guilds, the brotherhood, society, giriza; the fighters, mages, thieves, respectively. There is also the merchant guild, a group of necromancers and two rival clans/ruling houses. The main story is kind of a bore and the side quests make this game interesting with AB-SO-Lutely horrible voice work, laughable in all cases. The voice work sounds like they were given a script and they sad, ‘just read it, have fun with it if you want.’ Stupid accents, twists on the language, but given some of the characters you meet, you might begin to think that they did that shit on purpose.
The combat felt like a hack ‘n slash, only cause you can play it that way. True, you can play the attack parry, retreat, attack but what fun is that especially when you duel wield two swords that do hella damage and just mow though enemies. You can upgrade all sorts of combat skills, magic schools and miscellenous unused skills. Unhorse skill, yeah, never saw an enemy on a horse, ever. OOOhh yeah, you ever drive a car with 3 flat tires?...that's what it's like to "try" to ride a horse in Two Worlds; I said fuck it and walk. Burn a bitch with your torch with your burn a bitch with a torch skill. You could upgrade weapons with magical stones, finding the same weapon and combining the two. I like hack and slash so this one was okay with me, your swing might have missed but it wasn’t annoying to see your swing go right though the enemy whose right in front of you like a whiff of air. Fucking Elder scrolls. Hundreds of different weapons, armor and items make loot hunting fun. Some weapons couldn’t be used until a certain level, dexterity or strength level which made grinding a little easier to take and more fun. Cuz' when you get that sword that does a thousand damage it feels good to cut a bitch.
The Rating System
1 Inu - This Inu is bad. It eats baby birds out of trees, craps in you shoes, and scares any potential female friends away with its ferocious demeanor.
2 Inu's - This Inu has been taken to obedience training, but failed. The dog tried hard, but just never got any of the tricks right.
3 Inu's - An average lovable Inu, sure its not gonna win any awards, but it is a faithful companion
4 Inu's - This Inu is special, he knows all of his tricks, everyone loves him, and he sits by your side every time you come back from the bar... alone.
5 Inu's - This is Inu is legendary. He is a dog among puppies. One day there will be movies made about how awesome he is.
This game was like bad beer, that first one makes you twitch, the second makes you laugh how horrible it is, the third you think, "I bought a six pack might as well drink'em." Then by the forth you think this ain't bad and by the time you finish the sixer, you think this is actually pretty good.
My daddy said that you can't polish a turd...well in my opinion it would have made a difference. IF they had stop to test the performance of this thing before they released they would have seen the evident problem. 1.75 INU. I guess this thing is great on the PC, this is obvious just a port, hell you can bring up the console command to enter cheat codes. I can't wait for Two Worlds 2 when I pick up for cheapness in a few months.
1 Inu - This Inu is bad. It eats baby birds out of trees, craps in you shoes, and scares any potential female friends away with its ferocious demeanor.
2 Inu's - This Inu has been taken to obedience training, but failed. The dog tried hard, but just never got any of the tricks right.
3 Inu's - An average lovable Inu, sure its not gonna win any awards, but it is a faithful companion
4 Inu's - This Inu is special, he knows all of his tricks, everyone loves him, and he sits by your side every time you come back from the bar... alone.
5 Inu's - This is Inu is legendary. He is a dog among puppies. One day there will be movies made about how awesome he is.
This game was like bad beer, that first one makes you twitch, the second makes you laugh how horrible it is, the third you think, "I bought a six pack might as well drink'em." Then by the forth you think this ain't bad and by the time you finish the sixer, you think this is actually pretty good.
My daddy said that you can't polish a turd...well in my opinion it would have made a difference. IF they had stop to test the performance of this thing before they released they would have seen the evident problem. 1.75 INU. I guess this thing is great on the PC, this is obvious just a port, hell you can bring up the console command to enter cheat codes. I can't wait for Two Worlds 2 when I pick up for cheapness in a few months.
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