I thought that it would be best to post this apology on the website, so all could know how we wronged one of our beloved friends and confidants. I hope he can take it in his heart to forgive us for our wrongdoings. This is something that will rarely, if ever again, be offered on this blog:
Dear DJ Hendo
Recent information has come to my attention that leaves me no choice but to sincerely apologize to you. In a previous post we called you a douchebag. This was an unfortunate mistake which i am forced to blame on unscrupulous sources. It will not happen again. As it turns out out clan is entirely douche bag free. To you and all of your friends and family i offer my sincerest apologies for the aforementioned slight against you. I hope you will accept my humble apology and continue to pwn noobs as only you know how.
Sincerely,
The High Council
Monday, June 28, 2010
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Super Flying Monkey Boy
For the uninitiated this move is a SWS original. Given life by Regenfall to be shared by all members of the SWS. I practice this move every chance I get and yet have still not mastered the great art that is, the SUPER FLYING MONKEY BOY. Oh you didn't know your ass better call someboooddddyy! I have made a short 5th grade quality instructional video for your enjoyment and ed-u-ma-cation. Learn it well my friends. SWS out. WUT WUT
Saturday, June 26, 2010
Members
Check out the members section for a brief introduction to our clan members. The in depth interviews will be coming soon.
Friday, June 25, 2010
With our powers combined
In the next few weeks we will be doing the introductions to all of the members of our fabled clan. However, before we can start that i think its necessary for us to begin with the history of our clan. Many, many years ago things were different. This Simpsons had yet to make their big screen debut. The Blackhawks were an obsolete hockey team. Crooky was still a virgin. The world had never seen Modern Warfare and the only SWS that existed was a Insane Clown Posse group. However that all changed in the summer of 2007.
In 2007 the original three members of the SWS would come together by chance. The SWS began its reign of terror on Saints Row. At this point the clan was only 2 members, Regenfall and myself. We proudly hold the worst statistical record in the history of Saints Row. 1 and 13. Its safe to say that this was not our game. However, in the beginning of 2008, RageInu, Regenfall and I(this group will henceforth be referred to as the triumvirate or founding fathers) began playing Modern Warfare, this would not only change our lives, but the lives of our significant others. Whilst playing Modern Warfare some of our relationships ended while others would coin phrases like "alcohol doesnt ruin relationships, call of duty does." Needless the SWS changed all of our lives.
We had been playing together for a few months now and the clan was hitting its stride. Unfortunately all of us sucked. Watching any of us try to get more than two kills in a row was like watching a fat man try to catch an ice cream truck. So in an effort to expand our little troop we went to the place where anyone goes when they need to find the best of the best, video game forums. What was our recruitment call you ask? Read on.
Description: We're not a "proper clan" with membership. Must have FUN; enjoy cuddling and long walks down "Crossfire". Trips to Grandma's house in "Overgrown", and candlelit dinners within "Vacant"'s kitchen. Relaxed, don't really care about stats, like winning but NOT looking for an abusive or controlling relationship.
This heterosexual mating call earned us one of our most skilled life partners; Crooky. At this point Crooky was a young 15 year old boy who needed mentors, and luckily for him he found three. You are welcome. Where would you be without us? Throughout this time period we also commissioned the services of DJ FUBAR, and YukYuPhat. This collection of 6 men began the SWS, without each of them the SWS would never have inspired fear in the hearts of our opponents. There is nothing more satisfying than hearing "not those SWS fuckers again" when new people pop into the lobby.
Over the next year we diversified our portfolios, GTA, sports, racers and, of course, Rage watched a lot of porn. Our group had changed drastically, Rage and i were now single, Crooky was throwing 600+ person high school parties, and Regens life stayed the same(he is old). We briefly came back together for CoD: WaW, but that never satisfied us like modern warfare did. It was like sleeping with a supermodel, and then after a little break you lose your street cred and have to start jumping on that fatty grenade all over again.
Then MW2 came out and our clan has expanded to new heights. Our pre- MW2 era had ended. We have doubled in size and have become more dominant than ever. Our chance meeting with the PTFB clan would introduce us to players that would take us to the next level. Our greatest additions to the clan since Crooky, Psia and DJ Hendo, made us a complete ass whooping, and shit talking, machine. Eventually sticks, karama, kraz7, cityslkr, thuda, noodles, and our newest member, aadoyle would round out or clan. I will write up a second part of this series to describe how these new players not only added skilled thumbs to the clan, but changed it forever. I know i have forgot countless members who have come and gone, but once you are in the SWS you are in for life!
Just like Captain motha fuckin Planet when our powers combine we will whoop your bitch ass. Expect more updates soon.
In 2007 the original three members of the SWS would come together by chance. The SWS began its reign of terror on Saints Row. At this point the clan was only 2 members, Regenfall and myself. We proudly hold the worst statistical record in the history of Saints Row. 1 and 13. Its safe to say that this was not our game. However, in the beginning of 2008, RageInu, Regenfall and I(this group will henceforth be referred to as the triumvirate or founding fathers) began playing Modern Warfare, this would not only change our lives, but the lives of our significant others. Whilst playing Modern Warfare some of our relationships ended while others would coin phrases like "alcohol doesnt ruin relationships, call of duty does." Needless the SWS changed all of our lives.
We had been playing together for a few months now and the clan was hitting its stride. Unfortunately all of us sucked. Watching any of us try to get more than two kills in a row was like watching a fat man try to catch an ice cream truck. So in an effort to expand our little troop we went to the place where anyone goes when they need to find the best of the best, video game forums. What was our recruitment call you ask? Read on.
Name: [SWS] Southwest Stranglers, Sisters with Soul, or Skanks wit Syphilis, DAMN does it really matter, my Geekdom meter only goes so high!
Recruiting: Hell Yeah! But not looking for a long term relationship. Fun and Friendship first.
Requirement(s): Age 14+, "Rank matter not, wars do not make one great."
Play Time: Weeknights and Weekends, Central Standard Time US, mostly like getting tag teamed…I mean playing Team Death match but willing to experiment.
Members: 5 XBOX Tag Regenfall or Ranvier (10 million strong and grooowinnng…)
Recruiting: Hell Yeah! But not looking for a long term relationship. Fun and Friendship first.
Requirement(s): Age 14+, "Rank matter not, wars do not make one great."
Play Time: Weeknights and Weekends, Central Standard Time US, mostly like getting tag teamed…I mean playing Team Death match but willing to experiment.
Members: 5 XBOX Tag Regenfall or Ranvier (10 million strong and grooowinnng…)
Description: We're not a "proper clan" with membership. Must have FUN; enjoy cuddling and long walks down "Crossfire". Trips to Grandma's house in "Overgrown", and candlelit dinners within "Vacant"'s kitchen. Relaxed, don't really care about stats, like winning but NOT looking for an abusive or controlling relationship.
This heterosexual mating call earned us one of our most skilled life partners; Crooky. At this point Crooky was a young 15 year old boy who needed mentors, and luckily for him he found three. You are welcome. Where would you be without us? Throughout this time period we also commissioned the services of DJ FUBAR, and YukYuPhat. This collection of 6 men began the SWS, without each of them the SWS would never have inspired fear in the hearts of our opponents. There is nothing more satisfying than hearing "not those SWS fuckers again" when new people pop into the lobby.
Over the next year we diversified our portfolios, GTA, sports, racers and, of course, Rage watched a lot of porn. Our group had changed drastically, Rage and i were now single, Crooky was throwing 600+ person high school parties, and Regens life stayed the same(he is old). We briefly came back together for CoD: WaW, but that never satisfied us like modern warfare did. It was like sleeping with a supermodel, and then after a little break you lose your street cred and have to start jumping on that fatty grenade all over again.
Then MW2 came out and our clan has expanded to new heights. Our pre- MW2 era had ended. We have doubled in size and have become more dominant than ever. Our chance meeting with the PTFB clan would introduce us to players that would take us to the next level. Our greatest additions to the clan since Crooky, Psia and DJ Hendo, made us a complete ass whooping, and shit talking, machine. Eventually sticks, karama, kraz7, cityslkr, thuda, noodles, and our newest member, aadoyle would round out or clan. I will write up a second part of this series to describe how these new players not only added skilled thumbs to the clan, but changed it forever. I know i have forgot countless members who have come and gone, but once you are in the SWS you are in for life!
Just like Captain motha fuckin Planet when our powers combine we will whoop your bitch ass. Expect more updates soon.
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Last night was fun!
Once again the SWS pwned noobs like a mutha trucker! Wut! Wut! We had some good matches and owned a few peeps from the other side. xxx40xxOuncesxx in particular the SWS formed a fifty foot mutherfucking Voltron on his ass and stepped on him! In the words of our newest n00b aadoyle that was BEAST! We all need to give a big GRRRRR for aadoyle and his verbal prowess!
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
It's a new Day!
In the near future we will be adding lil nugglets of fun and humor to this site. Prepare yourself and await the rumbling thunderass cloud coming your way muh hahahaha!
Monday, June 21, 2010
Rules to Joining the SWS
Contact Ranvier or Regenfall
Rules, Limitations and Warranties...
1. Must be 14 years of age.
2. Must be well versed in vulgar and profane language or at least tolerate it.
3. Must be able to "pwn n00bs".
4. Must like Boobies; as much as our Space Custodian RageInu.
5. Must be tolerant; racist, homophobic remarks not tolerated.
6. All skill levels accepted; this a videogame, we play to have FUN.
7. We play to win the game and/or the objective.
8. Ride a horse like Regenfall and shoot like Ranvier.
9. SWS is worldwide. This clan travels the verse, more than just Red Dead.
10. Lastly and most important, We are Douchebag free. Currently DJ Hendo holds that title and only slot.
The new Southwest Stranglers Blogsite
Welcome one and all to the new home of the Southwest Stranglers! Home of the Baddest Muthas on the XBL live community.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)